


She once was a true love of mine

by Onceonthiscomet



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: F/F, I mean kind of, M/M, Not really an AU, agnst at the beginning, aka my other otp, aka my otp, and some Danatole too, mainly Marya and Hélène, pierre isnt here, sorry pierre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 10:46:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12231294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onceonthiscomet/pseuds/Onceonthiscomet
Summary: Hélène does something almost irreparable.Almost.





	She once was a true love of mine

**Author's Note:**

> Okay i have no idea of what this is and it's 3 am so i am sorry for any mistake and how terrible this is. Have mercy.

Marya's green eyes were filled with tears, her left hand was holding tightly her gown, she was breathing heavily. The man in front of her was looking down, as if he was trying to hide his presence, but still he knew why he was there-The doctor says there are basically no chances of her surviving the night and she won't be long now, i am sorry to ask you such a thing but i know you once would have wanted to see her- he then looked up to Marya, whose expression was, to say the least, glacial, she spoke for the first time that night-Why didn't you go?- Dolokhov looked confused -Why didn't you go to Petersburg? I thought you loved him- Dolokhov smiled, but his eyes expressed a terribly deep sadness -I did.- Marya nodded and then they walked out of the door and into the troika.  
The Bezukchov estate was cold, lonely, and a smell of vodka allocated in the air, as soon ad she entered the house Marya was hit by thousands of memories, all the secret kisses and soft moans that were shared in those small hidden rooms took her back to a time in which she thought she knew what love was, a time in which she was happy, a time full of beautiful lies -This way- said Dolokhov, gently pushing Marya up the stairs -I know, thank you- she answered, silent tears running down her face.  
Once she found herself in front of the door Marya wished with all her heart to simply forget everything, forget how much she had loved and how much she had been hurt, but still she walked in. Hélène was laying on a bed, her face was pale and her eyes, once so full of life, where barely open, the light that used to fill them was gone; Marya closed her eyes and got closer to the woman, she sat down and took her hand, silently, when Hélène saw her she tried to speak but nothing came out of her mouth except for a flebile breath, but she needed no speaking: her eyes, now wide open, were doing the job for her, tears were rushing down her beautiful cheeks, and Marya spoke-Hush, don't cry, i'm here, and i am not leaving until...i am not leaving Hélène- they were both crying now, and none of them noticed Dolokhov leaving, Marya took a deep breath and curled up on the bed next to her former lover, her nose slightly touching Hélène's neck, her tears encountering the other woman's ones on her collarbone, her hand resting on Hélène's stomach. After a couple of minutes Marya talked again-Am i...am i the reason you did it? Because of what i said to you that day, after the elopement?- Hélène looked at her and her eyes closed and opened terribly slowly, Marya did not expect her to speak but Hélène found some remote strength in her and answered- Oh no, my dear. You had all the rights to say that...i...i just want you to know that n-no matter what i did- seeing the other woman getting even more worried, Hélène silenced her with a mere look, one that no one could have caught, but Marya wasn't no one-just...let-t me tell you that i love you and t-that i think about you all the time, i won't be here tomorrow morning but if i...i...should become a stranger, j-just know that it would make me way more than sad, this- and she held Marya's hand thighly- has been everything i've ever had- she then closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against Marya's, crying.  
Marya slept that night as she had already done lots of times, holding the only person she had ever loved, not knowing if she would have found her there the next morning.  
Sunrise seeped into the room, Marya felt her body getting warmer and she awoke, but she did not open her eyes, she stayed there, holding what she knew probably was a dead body, pretending not to smell the vain scent that was already in the air, she did not move a finger, not until someone else did.  
She immediately opened her eyes only to found Hélène, breathing slowly and looking shockingly at the ceiling, Marya immediately started crying-Hélène...?- she asked, her voice insecure and almost unhearable, the other woman slowly turned around and looked at her-Is this heaven?- Marya's tears duplicated and a smile appeared on her face-I doubt, my dear countess, that either of us would end up there- they both laughed, even if slightly.  
Marya and Dolokhov were waiting outside the room, the doctor was in since a good ten minutes and neither of them knew what to think or say-So...-Marya started- how...is...Prince Kuragin holding up in Petersburg?- she damned herself the second she asked the question -Good, i suppose, i don't really know- Marya raised an eyebrow-Would rather stop acting as if i did not notice the amount of letters on that desk- she pointed at a tall pile of paper on the piece of furniture some meters away from them- all addressed to you? He must be really in love- Dolokhov sighed-He's just lonely- the older woman could barely believe her ears-Seriously? If he was "just lonely" he would simply go find himself some cheap little thing, preferebly married, not send thousands of letters to you, desperatly declaring his love and how blind he has been-she gestured with her hand as she spoke- and how much he misses you, and all that romantic shit.- Dolokhov looked more than confused- So...you think i should forgive him and simply go to Petersburg? I thought you hated him- Marya rolled her eyes-I do- she said. In that moment the doctor came out of the room and started to tell them how incredible Hélène's survival was and how unexpected her body's reaction had been -Yes, very interesting- said Marya- but...is she going to...survive?- the doctor looked straight into her eyes, if he had wondered why on earth Marya Dimitrievna was there being so worried about Countess Bezukhova he did not show it,-She should, i mean the worst is over so....yes- both Marya and Dolokhov let out a loud breath.  
It had been almost two months since that night, Hélène was officially out of danger and her progresses were improving every day, Pierre was still nowhere to be seen, Marya spent her days at her house with Sonya and Natasha, and her nights holding and comforting Hélène, Dolokhov took care of his dearest friend all day, and wrote letters to her brother all night; I  
it was during a particularly warm afternoon that he announced he was leaving for Petersburg the next day, Marya, who had been able to spend the whole day at the estate, smiled fondly and Hélène hold her hand under the table they were sitting at. They watched as the troika left the gates, waving and smiling-Do you think they'll be happy?- Hélène asked, a bit of concern on her face-I think they'll try, that should be enough- Hélène smiled and looked straight into Marya's eyes-I am so sorry Marya, i truly am- Marya gazed down at their entwined hands, at Hélène's wedding ring and at all the scars she had pretended not to notice for so many years-Don't be, not again, i am here and i am not leaving, no matter what happens- she kissed Hélène's hands and then looked at the woman once again-Now, how long did the doctor say you had to wait before being able to be engaged in some more...sweaty activities?-

**Author's Note:**

> I know i left a lot of things unsaid but just to clarify:  
> \- Yes, in case it wasn't obvious, Hélène tried to kill herself  
> -Yes, i had no idea on what to do with Pierre so guess what bye Pierre  
> -Yes, i implied that Hélène was physically abused  
> -Yes, the elopement has happened  
> -Yes, Dolokhov is kinda of staying at Hélène's for some random reason (like they're bffs i suppose)  
> -Yes, Anatole loves Dolokhov and that's the tea  
> -Yes, this fic sucks


End file.
